I should've had a V-8

I should’ve had a V8

The can ingredients read: Tomato juice from concentrate, water, tomato paste, reconstituted vegetable juice blend, water and concentrated juice of carrots, celery, parsley, lettuce, watercress, spinach. Salt, vitamin c (absorbic acid), flavoring, citric acid. 

I have found a good way to kill some time while laughing and learning a new vocabulary. Look at the packages and even ingredients of items you buy and see how confusing they are. First, please note that I researched every product I mention in this chapter personally. These aren’t from some bogus web-site. The V8 ingredients use the word reconstituted. Does anyone know what reconstituted means? I looked it up. Reconstituted: To bring a concentrated powder form to normal strength by adding water. So I am guessing that the vegetables are processed into a dry powder then mixed with water to make a V8. That sounds like the kool-aide of veggies!

I looked on a package of the drawstring tall kitchen trash bags. It says ‘New Tear Resistant Formula‘. I immediately took one of the bags out…and tore it. Why don’t they just put ‘New Harder To Tear Formula’ on the box? The box also says 13 gallon size. Does someone actually put 13 gallons of something in these bags to verify this claim before they sell them? 

On a bottle of coke, it says in big bold letters, Pheylketonurics: contains phenylalanine. What in the name of all that is holy do either of these words mean? I can’t even pronounce them!

Isn’t it odd how most coffee you buy simply says 100% coffee, but bottled water has ingredients on the label? Have they always done that? Isn’t it just water?

On a Tesco Fruit Juice Carton, it says “Keep Upright” On bottom side!

Hershey has a new candy bar that-according to the ingredients-is made with nonfat milk, but then, they add milk fat to the ingredients to make the candy bar 12 fat grams…Why?

I looked at a box of baby wipes this morning. It said in bold letters: Keep Away From Children! Now, how are we supposed to do that when our babies are who these wipes are for?

Have you ever heard of Rain-X? You put it on your automobile windshield. It repels water when it rains for better visibility. The caution on the bottle says: ‘in case of eye contact, flush with water’. Would that even work?

I like sub-titled products and slogans. For example: Bounty, the quicker picker upper. In my cleaning cabinet I found a bottle that says: Grass and weed killer, kills weeds and grass!

Another example is a Slush Puppy Cup (On the side of the cup) it says: "This ice may be cold". What?!?

I have a hand held neck massager that says: Do not use while sleeping or unconscious. Thanks for the tip guys!

I bought one of those big lighters used for fireplaces. A caution on the lighter says: Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks. Uh…it is a lighter, right?

I think I have proven my point of how entertaining this can be. So the next time that you pick up something at the store, read the warning or cautions. Pay attention to the ingredients. This could bring many hours of fun-ness. :p


Hugs and High Fives,


Joseph